Much like Batman's nemesis Two-Face, we all have two separate people living inside us, battling for control at all times: the person we are normally, and the person we become when we are hangry. Hangry, glorious bastard child of the words "hungry" and "angry", is a term meant to encompass the disproportionate, intense feelings of rage and extreme irritation after being deprived of food for an inconvenient amount of time (i.e., missing breakfast, long road trips, the ten minutes between the gym and home, etc.) And according to science, being hangry is a real thing.
For those of us who have experienced hangriness on a regular basis, the evidence comes as no surprise. Studies show that people experiencing low blood sugar, the root cause of all hangry feelings, are more likely to experience rage playing difficult games, more likely to fight with their spouses, and even more likely to commit crimes. In other words, when I say I need a muffin, I am not joking.
But fret not, my fellow hangry friends. There are ways to prevent your inner hangry Hulk from hitting the scene. Pack backup snacks, and if you're dieting, find a better solution that agrees with your body. Or else you run the risk of experiencing these stages of hangriness:
You Lose All Standards For Acceptable Nutrition
Humans can digest wood, right? No, wait, don't answer that. No time for questions. Only food.
Everyone Starts To Look Delicious
You weren't a cannibal before, but circumstances have changed.
Gifs Of Food Genuinely Start To Look Like Porn
Food porn: what was once a casual hobby becomes life-threatening. Your body cannot handle it. You better hope you're not in public or you're about to get banned from wherever you are for life.
You Start Being A Lot More Honest With Your Loved Ones
They suspected this for years, so it doesn't come as too much of a surprise when you hangrily confess to someone you love: you'd trade them for a burrito right now. At this point, you'd trade them for a single Ritz cracker. You are too far gone to consider the moral implications.
You Become 203% More Aggressive Than Usual
TRAFFIC! GROCERY LINES! GRAWRRR! You are now an cranky old man who yells at the television and tells kids to get off his lawn. Also, you may have pushed someone down the stairs. Allegedly.
You Curse The Person That You Were Three Hours Ago
So smug, so naive. So stupid. She SHOULD HAVE SEEN THIS COMING. Why didn't she pack a snack?!
Everyone Becomes The Enemy
That girl used to be your sister. Now she's just one more person that is standing between you and food.
You Start To Wonder If This Is A Dream
No, not a dream – a nightmare. And no matter how many times you pinch yourself and every living thing around you, nobody wakes up.
You Become Dead Inside
In the bleak, final stages of hangriness, there is nothing left inside of you. On the outside, you still look like a reasonable person with hopes and dreams and ambitions. On the inside...is not food.
You Inhale The First Food You Can Find
Vegetarianism, shmegetarianism.
You Slowly Try To Rebuild All The Bridges You Burned
"Hey, guys. Sorry I tried to eat your face. And that I rear-ended six people in the drive-thru line. Also that I declared war on several small nations. Forgive me?"
Someone Buys You This Shirt For Christmas
After all, you earned it.
Images: David Goehring/Flickr; Look Human; Giphy (9)
