Ian Somerhalder & Nikki Reed Are Parents Now?!

Listen up, Ian. It was bad enough that you decided to go and get a girlfriend behind our backs. After you split from Nina Dobrev, you really filled our cold, dead hearts with hope that one day the undead arms of Damon Salvatore would be ours. Alas, you betrayed our love in July by shacking up with yet another blood-sucker, this time with sparkly Twilight babe Nikki Reed. While we can't blame you for that (she's pretty great), you have finally gone too far. You've crossed the line, Ian, and while your smoldering gaze may make us weak in the knees and cause fantasies even Christian Grey would blush at, this might just be too much for us to bear. Break out the Kleenex, ladies, because as of yesterday, Ian Somerhalder, 35, and Nikki Reed, 26, have become the proud parents of a bouncing baby boy.

Before you dissolve into a puddle of tears or rush out to buy the couple any Dracula-themed onesies (if such a thing exists), you might want to take a look at their son, Eagle, first, who Somerhalder so helpfully splashed across his Instagram page for all the world to "ooh" and "ahh" (and SOB) at.

The Vampire Diaries actor captioned the snap, "Proud new dad... What amazing creatures they are. Wow. His name is Eagle. Thank you @iamnikkireed for snapping this special moment, with our big baby boy."

That's right. After only a few weeks of dating, these two decided the best way to solidify their fledgling relationship was adopting a 1,000 lb. horse. This horse can only mean one thing: this new relationship is getting serious. Giant horse amounts of serious. Granted, the pair are big animal advocates, and Reed actually happens to be starring in upcoming film The Sunday Horse about equestrian Debi Walden, so maybe this is just an experience in method acting? All we know is that now they have the perfect tool to help them literally ride off into the sunset together, and that tonight may or may not be spent watching a Vampire Diaries marathon while crying into a pint of Ben and Jerry's. Whatever, guys.

Images: Ian Somerhalder/Instagram