This New Hair Trend Is Gross

As a lover of fashion, I sometimes wear things that cause my boyfriend to look at me with utter bemusement before I leave the house. For example, I own an expensive satin purse shaped like a fox head that can barely fit a tube of Chapstick and my iPhone. Still, there are some trends that I simply cannot abide. The 'wob' is one of these trends.

'Wob' refers to the wet bob, a hair trend that is sweeping the red carpet of late, to my great disappointment. The concept? You take a bob, soak it with greasy product for a so-called wet look, and now you have a wob. The Gloss refers to it as "currently in the shower hair," but I prefer the term "haven't seen a shower in three days hair" because the wob looks greasy as hell.

The Daily News seems to think the wob is the hottest hairstyle since the beehive:

The basic features of a wob are a choppy, chin-length cut, styling products that add sleek shine without weighing down the hair, and distinct messiness at the ends. It should look as though you’ve just spent time scrunching your hair with your fingers, and it miraculously stayed put. The result is the look of a too-cool-for-school sex bomb who barely had time to shower, let alone hang out with you for an extended period of time, says hair stylist Patrick Melville.

That's all well and good, but no wob I have seen actually looks like this. I would prefer to encounter a million more half-shaved Skrillex heads in my lifetime than be confronted with a single instance of the wob. The best (read: worst) versions of the wob are the ones where the top of the hair is gelled down while the ends are left dry, resulting in a weird two-texture hairdo that makes it seem like the wearer has a very oily scalp.

Exhibit A, Kate Mara at the L.A. screening of House of Cards:

Not cute. Not sexy. Not rainstorm chic, as Polly Blitzer of BeautyBlitz.com writes. Just sort of... dirty.

“The most important part is, the hair is not actually wet,” hairstylist Patrick Melville told The Daily News, “It just looks wet.” Oh, good. So the hair is not actually wet, which means that it's just crunchy with dried product. What can be sexier than hair that doubles as protective head-gear?

Let us send the wob from whence it came and dye our hair purple instead.