Everything Wrong with 'The Notebook' in One Video

Listen, folks: The Notebook was, and still is, a terrible movie. The only thing that made it better was cats. Sure it featured the ~destined 2 b~ coupling of everybody's dreams — Universal Boyfriend to All Ryan Gosling and Cool Girl Rachel McAdams — but all and all, the movie's sort of a mess. Well, it has a lot of sins. Some of which are finally, finally-finally, documented in this new video, showing you nearly everything that is wrong, weird, messed-up, or über-cliched about the seriously sappy film.

The 2004 Nicholas Sparks tearjerker tops many a person's list of "most romantic movies" for some reason I cannot quite discern. Does emotional torture porn count as romance these days? Do nonsensical plot points make people fall in love? Are we really supposed to forgive some of the film's most egregious errors because "look at how in love these two very attractive actorpeople are"? From the fence, to the letters, to the throwaway addition of "my dad died," the film's sins are many — 85 to be exact, according to CinemaSin's count.

But don't take our word for it, all of you out there undoubtedly tearing your hair out with anger over my claims that The Notebook is anything other than The Greatest Most Awesomest Most Beautiful Love Story of Our Time. Take a peek at the 10 minute clip (there are 2 minutes of bonus rip-off comparisons at the end if you're down for extra bashing) below and see for yourself. We're sorry, but this is important for all you sap-lovers to see.

Image: New Line Cinema