The World Would Explode If This Affair Were True

There is a rumor out there about Beyoncé and President Obama that is so crazy even the idea of it will make you squeamish. According to a French photographer, Beyoncé and Obama are having an affair and the news will officially come out tomorrow. Doesn't that just make you feel anxious? I imagine the feeling is similar to the beginning of labor. You know something big is coming and you just can't wait to see it for yourself. Mothers out there, can you back me up on this? A Beyoncé and Obama affair is equivalent to oncoming childbirth, right?

The photographer at hand is Pascal Rostain who made the announcement this morning on a French radio show. Rostain claims that the news will be released via The Washington Post tomorrow and said, "You know, at this moment, in the United States, something very big is happening." According to Cosmopolitan, Rostain is "well-connected," but known for starting drama.

If Obama is having an affair with Beyoncé that is not "something very big," it is the biggest thing that has ever happened ever. The phrase, "Twitter would explode" is tossed around sometimes when crazy news occurs, but this time the Internet would literally stop working because everyone would be searching for this. Cars would stop in the middle of the highway. People would pour out of their homes and into the street. It would be like the beginning of an apocalyptic film. Cries of people screaming, "Beyonceeee, noooooooo" and "Obamaaaaa, whhhhhyyyy?" would echo hauntingly through every town in America.

Before you plan to have a day off of work tomorrow, The Washington Post has already claimed that the story is false. Post spokesperson Kris Coratti told Poynter that the rumor is "definitely not true." It's not surprising that Beyoncé and the president are not, in fact, having an affair and that a respected newspaper is not going to report on it, but imagining it is pretty entertaining.

Seriously, things would get so nuts that it's sort of hard to wrap your mind around. So, today, ponder what you would do if Beyoncé and Obama were having an affair. It's a good idea to have a game plan just in case.

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