Entertainment

Watch 'Game of Thrones' Early (Sort Of)

by Sarah Freymiller

Good news, Game of Thrones fans. You can catch a sizable Game of Thrones Season 4 sneak peek Sunday night: simply flip to HBO at 8:45 PM ET/PT and bask in fifteen whole minutes of foreshadowing frenzy. And leading up to that moment HBO was kind enough to gift us with a teaser via the show's Instagram feed (below) to tide us over.

This teaser trailer comes at just in time, because fans are starting to stock up on Game of Thrones themed food (dragon wings, hot pies, the hearts of your enemies), and cut their frocks in the style of Margaery Tyrell's infamous dresses (wrestling singlets stapled to a maxi-skirts). As you wolf down the thrumming, tantalizing clips tonight, you should also take some time to review what has been happening in all the story lines thus far. But, in case your copy of A Storm of Swords is falling apart in your hands, you can also read our handy review of events.

A long, long time ago, at the end of Season 3, we were:

Sympathizing with Tyrion and Sansa

The most unhappy royal couple since Charles and Diana, Tyrion and Sansa have yet to consummate their forced marriage. Lord Tywin asks, "Y U No Baby Yet?" Tyrion sticks to his guns as one of the few men on the show who doesn't rape or pillage.

Bored to death with Bran

Bran lives up to his high-fiber, low-excitement name. We do find out that he is a warg, able to control others with his mind, in "The Rains of Castamere," but the prospect of an extended journey beyond the wall to find a three-eyed raven brings to mind the long, agonizing footage of Sam and Frodo wandering through Mordor.

Crossing our legs for Theon

Now that Theon is short a member, everyone can breathe a sigh of relief. Finally, his brutal torture has peaked and is on a downward spiral. We can't wait to meet Reek, his egoless alter-ego, in Season 4.

Stumped by Jaime's predicament

Both Theon and Jaime were known for their "swordsmanship," and both lost the instruments that earned them their notoriety. In Jaime's case, it was his sword hand. He reunited with Cersei in "Mhysa," and this next season should show more of his progression from arrogant, incestuous king-slayer to humbled, still incestuous Hand.

Ygritting our teeth for Jon

Now that the star-crossed lovers have split, and Jon rides to Castle Black with her tokens of love in his back (Cupid's arrows, as it were), we should look forward to their tragic reunion at the battle for Castle Black. This season will also be a chance to see if Jon finally puts on a hat, after battling sub-zero temperatures with only his riotous hair and rugged good looks.

Deflowered with Gendry

The books make no mention of Melisandre seducing Gendry, but the show's writers couldn't resist another incredibly painful attack on a man's genitals. Let's go leeches! Thankfully, Davos gets Gendry out of Dragonstone before he is stricken with early onset erectile dysfunction.

Hounded by Arya...

...if you're a Frey soldier, that is. Arya, unsurprisingly, is not at peace after the Red Wedding, and the Hound helps her snuff out a group of soldiers who were discussing her brother's murder.

Rob-bed of life by the Freys

Game of Thrones proves that, true to the books, it has no qualms about killing off main characters. RIP Robb and Catelyn, although I think we'll be seeing one of you again…

Mother-loved by Yunkish slaves

Daenerys has done it again. With the help of Daario Naharis, Grey Worm, and Jorah Mormont, her army is now in control of Yunkai and all of its formerly subjugated people. She frees them, they love her, they will give up their lives for her, she is the only blonde in a sea of brunettes, etc, etc.

And now, without further ado, here is the teaser trailer for the teaser trailer for Game of Thrones. Season 4 is coming.

Images: HBO (2)