If Charlie From 'Girls' Had A Tumblr...

As a fan of Girls, I was really sad to hear that Christopher Abbott (aka Marnie's ex-turned-current-turned-ex-again boyfriend, Charlie) had ditched Girls before Season 3 was slated to start filming. While I thought that Charlie and Marnie had a pretty unhealthy co-dependent relationship (though it was nothing compared to the grossness that is Hannah and Adam's) I was sad to see their love end so unexpectedly. Wasn't Charlie just professing his love for Marnie? Didn't Marnie JUST tell him that she wanted to watch him die? (It was way more adorable than that sounded.)

But thanks to the lovely people on the Internet, Charlie isn't totally off our radar. Low and behold, Vulture's brainchild: the secret Tumblr of Charlie. According to Charlie's online presence, Charlie is being the worst down in Austin, Texas.

The last time that Marnie talked about her relationship with Charlie, she mentioned how they had just gotten all of the ingredients to make grilled pizza, only to have him dump her before they actually made any grilled pizza. As a Brooklyn foodie, grilled pizza recipes would definitely be something that Charlie felt the need to reblog. (I had several questions about this pizza-making-venture when Marnie first talked about it, and I will now be Googling "grilled pizza recipes" to make later this week. Unless doing that is a bad relationship omen? Whatever, who cares, I'm single and love pizza.)

Like any Millennial working in the app business, Charlie saw fit to pseudo-announce via Tumblr that he and Marnie were on the rocks. This is followed by a link to Bon Iver's "Skinny Love." Personally, I think that Charlie would listen to something a little less cliche and/or something a bit more ironic. Like, say, Kanye's "Stronger."

Ahh, the famous "I-just-broke-up-with-someone-but-it's-cool-because-I'm-deep" reblogs. I like to think Charlie would have been better than this, but... wait, no, no he wouldn't have been.

#lol over it. (Can I actually follow this Tumblr, please?) Vulture goes on to brilliantly hypothesize that Charlie would post an article from NYMag about the joys of unfollowing, but as anyone who is Team Marnie knows, he totally checks her Instagram. "He fucking checks it."

Ahh, the answer to where Charlie has been! Following a "Forbid" panel at SXSW in Austin (Forbid is the app that Charlie created that blocks you from calling your ex, naturally) Charlie decides to leave the app biz and go back to his one true calling: sustainable furniture design.

Do I buy that Charlie would ever leave his cushy new life and fancy new office for awesome pulled pork? Hmm. How awesome is that pulled pork? Because it's definitely possible.

You should read the full article over on Vulture, you won't regret it.