Holy crap, some big news just happened in the porn game. In addition to some of the content changing (like more feminist porn, yay!) probably the biggest change was that porn went virtual. BaDoink porn released an amazing and hilarious video of people watching virtual reality porn for the first time and they were so, so into it. Like, now I really want to have a look. But that was 2015. it's a new year and there is a whole new game-changer. Like a real game-changer. And it sort of has me wishing I was a dude.
So basically here's what happened. The lovely folks at BaDoink have teamed up with Kiiroo, who are, according to a press release "one of the leading pioneers in teledildonics" which is my new favorite phrase in the entire world and something I need to get on a business card immediately. I will be saying it in a James Bond voice at every party I go to from now on.
Anyway, Kiiroo CEO Toon Timmerman said they were ready to take the next step in their virtual reality journey and make your porn-watching experience even better.
So, what is the next step? Well, they released a (sort of NSFW) video with their new development:
Basically, in the evolution of porn watching, we've gone from this:
To this...
(Side note: I appreciate that they note we've upgraded from Vaseline to lotion, but there has been no update in tissue technology in last 30 years. I mean, we have "leading pioneers of teledildonics" but we haven't worked out a better cleanup method? I'm just saying.)
But now...
There's This:
What is it, you ask? Well the Onyx is the newest male masturbator, like a Fleshlight. Because here's the crazy thing: it will syncs with virtual reality porn videos provided by BaDoinkVR, so what you see on the screen, you actually feel. So you will literally be feeling things as they happen in the porn. I will never even begin to be able to understand. This is serious next-level stuff.
That crazy, right? Your eyes will tell you that you're in the porn... and so will your dick. And there's more. According to the press release "the two companies will work closely with experts in the porn industry to develop instructional videos aimed at improving sex technique, utilizing virtual reality and teledildonics technology". And yes, I partly include that as an excuse to say teledildonics one more time, but also because it shows this isn't the end, it's just the beginning of this technology and it's really interesting to see where it will go.
And lastly, because I love a good pun:
Get it!? BLOW! (I am a 14-year-old boy.)
Images: BaDoinkVR, Youtube; Giphy
