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'Winners Aren't Losers' Needs To Be Made ASAP

by Melissah Yang

During his Wednesday show, Jimmy Kimmel unveiled a book he ghostwrote for Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump, and the Dr. Seuss-like story was an instant hit. The children's book shows an illustrated Trump proclaiming himself a winner while he calls out losers (in a kid-friendly way, of course). Now, the real question is whether Winners Aren't Losers will be a real book, and whether you can go out and buy one as the perfect holiday gift.

Hate to break it to you, but so far, it seems that the only existing copy is the one that was read on Kimmel's show. During the interview, Kimmel noted how the children's lit arena was untouched territory for the master brander, which is why he decided to make a contribution to the genre on behalf of the billionaire. It's all in good fun, sure, but once you start talking about the real revenue to be made, you can be sure that Trump will want a piece of the pie. See, Trump loves to put his name on everything he owns — Trump Building, Trump Tower, Trump Winery, Trump Vodka. And if the book was ever published, Trump would want to get paid out, especially given that it's his name on the book and his likeness being used.

Look at how he wanted to charge CNN $5 million just for his participation in the presidential debates. The man sees everything as a business.

So as sad as it sounds, Winners Aren't Losers probably won't be coming to shelves near you anytime soon. But no worries, because you can still get your bedtime read on with a full transcript right here, or watch Kimmel's riveting recitation below.

Images: Jimmy Kimmel Live/ABC