If you've been bitten by the bahhum-bug this year, here's some news that should fill your Scroogey soul with the holiday spirit: there exists in the world a magical place known as Santa University. It's where professional Santas learn how to be... well, professional Santas. And more specifically, it's located in Colorado at the corporate office of the Noerr Programs known as — I don't think you're ready for this (belly like a bowl full of) jelly — the Noerr Pole. You guys, I kid you not. I would never joke about the wonders of a place where hundreds of Santas sit down together to feast on BBQ and exchange secrets presumably about issues like the proper child-to-lap ratio.
Yes, Santa University is a very real four-day training program put on by the Noerr Programs — a digital event imaging provider choreographing "the Santa experience." In addition to the previously aforementioned BBQs (there are two) held during this extended Santa-centric seminar, participating Kris Kringles pick up pointers on Santa ethics, social media, posing for pictures, how to stay healthy during Santa season, how to deal with the media, and what steps to take before being interviewed. "Santa University is about inspiring that heart of Santa," company president Judy Noerr explains in a behind-the-scenes video of the whimsical retreat. The Santas seem to agree with this sentiment. "I would emphasize the importance of the spirit they promote," says one Santa, "the spirit of generosity, the spirit of grace, the spirit of unconditional acceptance of all people."
Still, aside from the mystery surrounding what a Santa ethics class might entail (Last minute naughty list additions? Cursing at the reindeer? Not eating particularly crispy Christmas cookies?), you may be wondering what other insider info might fall under Santa University's cloak of secrecy. Like, for example, how it is that such a large percentage of the Clauses in attendance are able to grow perfectly abundant white facial hair — Noerr's site boasts that 96 percent of their Santas' beards are the real deal.
Then again, what fun would it be if they didn't leave a few tricks up Santa's festive red sleeves? This much is certain, though: Santa University will get you right in the feels or, as one Santa puts it, "Seems like I cried mostly the whole four days ... it was such a moving experience." Check out the video below and judge for youself! But if watching a row of Santas sing "Jingle Bells" while packing boxes for troops in Afghanistan doesn't warm the heart of even the most begrudging holiday bah-hum-buggers, there may be little hope for de-Scrooging.
Images: Noerr Programs/YouTube (2)
